


The Tony (and Clint) Experiment

by PhantomStorm



Series: Tony's many different Boyfriend Pairings [1]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, Multi, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-07
Updated: 2018-07-15
Packaged: 2019-05-03 18:44:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14575263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhantomStorm/pseuds/PhantomStorm
Summary: Yes, another kid-fic.Loki decides that T'Challa should get to experience Tony as a child "For Real" Since he had always looked up to Tony since he was a kid.P.S. Loki's a good guy





	1. Chapter 1

Loki and T'Challa were sitting in Asgard's royal gardens. They had finally gotten time to talk whilst their energetic boyfriends were off causing mayhem. Somehow, they had arrived at the topic of children. Loki looked at the Wakandan as he spoke. T'Challa speaking passionately about anything and everything Tony had done. The good. The bad. Everything. Loki smiled and added stories of Thor.

It was very innocent. Until it wasn't.

Somehow, T'Challa had let slip that Tony and he had indeed met before. In person. At a party. And that is when the Wakandan's infatuation with Anthony Edward Stark had begun. 

"I had met him as a teenager. He was very spirited and opinionated, but I had truly wished to meet him as his eccentric younger self. When he was a child, it was said he had done even more wondrous things and had many ideas."

Loki was nodding along, but he wasn't listening anymore. His mischevious brain had begun concocting a devilish plot.

"Say, T'Challa, what do you say to a little...experiment lets call it."

T'Challa was no less intrigued and he leaned in.

"And what experiment would this be?"

Loki grinned. "I shall turn Anthony into a child for the next 72 hours and then we shall see if he lives up to your expectations."

T'Challa blinked. "...Have you asked Anthony?"

"Of course not."

T'Challa frowned slightly. The temptation to follow through with Loki's plan was very hard to resist but to have it affect him and no others were...concerning, to say the least. He looked out and an idea popped into his Royal mind.

"If you turn Anthony, you must turn Mr. Barton as well."

Loki paled just a tad, but he nodded anyway. "Deal."

 

**Dinner Time**

 

"Tony my love, I have this discovered a most delicious Asgardian pastry you must try," T'Challa called to the genius. Said genius turned from whatever he was doing and met T'Challa's eyes. "Ooooo. Looks good! Can we share?" With a nod of consent, Tony turned to yell at the archer, "CLINT! THERE'S CAKE!"

Clint whipped around. "Cake?" T'Challa inwardly smirked. Loki had insisted that T'Challa deliver the dessert with the potion in it because and he quotes: "If I did, they might make me eat it first beacuse they might not believe me." 

The two men ate their respective pieces of cake while T'Challa ate his un-potioned cake.

"You're right Kitty cat! This is great! Thank you!"

"Yah! Thanks, King! It's awesome!"

Just as the two placed the plates down something happened. They started glowing.

"Hey Stark, you're glowing."

"Could say the same to you Legolas."

"Yo, what the heck?"

"Hey, Puss in Boots? What the heck did you do?"

T'Challa shrugged innocently. "I have no knowledge of this, my love. I suggest you not work yourself into a frenzy, for it may aggravate anything that may be happening." T'Challa barely contained his amusement as the two's cries became higher in pitch, and their bodies shrunk in size.

And soon, T'Challa was faced with two 3-year-olds in clothes much too big for them. "Bad Kitty Cat!" Tony squealed, pointing an accusing finger up at the, now even taller, Wakandan man.

Clint flapped his arms experimentally, watching in complete fascination as his sleeves flopped up and down. A giggle escaped the archer's mouth and soon it became full-blown laughter as he ran around (now pantless, underwearless. Just everything gone except his shirt).

Tony, on the other hand, was frowning in deep concentration when he looked at Clint. His eyes widened comically and you could literally see when the realization hit him like a Wakandan bullet train. "LOKI!" he yelled and Clint froze. "Woki?" Clint asked, toddling over to the genius.

"Where my Woki?"

T'Challa noted that Clint's speech was not as advanced as Tony's and his pronunciation was off as well.

Tony shrugged. "I dunno Clint, bu we godda find him." 

T'Challa also noted that Tony's slang was much more pronounced.

"Find Woki, Yah!" Clint cheered. T'Challa almost missed when the boys began to pelt off. "Wait, wait, wait, young ones. You must wear proper clothes before you venture off on your mission." The two conceded. Clint bouncing happily and a bajillion thoughts running through Tony's head. The moment Tony was dressed he dashed off. Clint had to follow after because he had managed to get stuck in his shirt.

T'Challa managed to untangle a wriggling Clint from his shirtly prison and together they plodded off to find Tony. When the duo finally caught up with Tony, they had discovered that Tony had indeed found Loki and was currently interrogating the Asgardian.

"What you do? Why you do it? What for? Who made you? Why us? Was it just for Clint? Cuz there was cake, but why target Clint? He's your boyfriend. Did you fight? Did he make you mad? Why'd you send King Kitty?"

Tony was rattling off question after question (and observation) that it took all of their intelligence combined to try and keep up with his barrage of questions. Loki finally placed a hand on his forehead and his other up. "Stop! Stark, you're giving me a migraine!"

Tony quieted but constantly surveyed the young Asgardian.

"If you thought I was easier to handle now. You're wrong."


	2. Chapter 2

It had only been a day and already the two children were too much to handle.

Clint had discovered that, yes, even Asgardians needed vents. Tony, on the other hand, had discovered the Asgardian ships and was having the best time getting lost in the hulls and taking apart the engines, only to reassemble them into various things that frightened everyone. Even with Loki's magic and T'Challa's enhanced senses, it took everything in them to even find the two rascals.

"CLINTON FRANCIS BARTON! IF YOU DO NOT COME HERE THIS INSTANT THERE WILL BE NO DESSERT FOR YOU FOR THE REST OF YOUR STAY IN ASGARD!" Loki yelled into the nearest vent.

Loki quietly counted to 5 and as he said the number, the softest shuffle could be heard.

Slowly, a small fuzzy, buzz-cut head popped out of the vent above him.

"No cake either?" he asked quietly, his eyes welling up with unshed tears.

Loki stood his ground. "That's right young man, no cake for you if you don't come down here now." Clint's face fell and he debated for a moment. Loki thought for a moment and almost smirked. Dating the God of Mischief was not good sometimes. "If you don't come down in 5 seconds, you won't get any hugs or kisses from me for a week." Clint's eyes snapped to Loki.

"No hugs or kisses?!" Clint gasped in disbelief.

Loki nodded.

"For a  _ **week?**_ _"_ Clint clutched his chest dramatically.

Loki nodded again.

"NOOOOOOO" Clint wailed and leaped from the vent.

Loki caught him easily, Clint gripping his neck tightly he whined into his shoulder. "No faaaaaaair!" Loki chuckled, "Well you didn't come down, so what else could I have done?" Clint mumbled something incoherent and Loki just hummed his approval as he walked back towards their room.

Now how was T'Challa doing?

**\-------------------------------------------------**

"Anthony?" T'Challa called, his hands cupped like a megaphone. "Anthony,  _Unyule,_ where are you?"

T'Challa wandered further into the room that the Asgardians had loaned to Tony. The room was full of bits and pieces, 2 small ships, and Dum-E. Tony had left Dum-E's siblings U and Butterfingers back on Earth.

Dum-E rolled over to T'Challa and chirped happily. T'Challa smiled. "Hello, Dum-E. Where is Tony, hm? Where is your father?" Dum-E let loose a whirl of clicks and beeps and moved towards the Ironman armor. T'Challa quickly followed.

As he neared, T'Challa spotted a messy mop of brown hair poking out from behind the desk near the armor. Smiling softly, T'Challa called out, "Anthony, please come out." T'Challa smiled at Tony's perseverance.

He quickly switched tactics. "Uthando, I am in dire need of you assistance. I fear..." he let out a small cough, "I fear that I am dying." T'Challa collapsed with a loud oof and peeked at the child. 

Tony had leaped from his hiding spot as soon as T'Challa had said "fear" and was scrambling to get to him. "NO!" he wailed, "Don't die! I'm sorry! Whatever I did I'm sorry!" Tony collapsed on top of T'Challa sobbing "Nonononononono!!!" Dum-E had quickly whirled over, hearing his creator's distress and was now trilling worriedly.

"J.A.R.V.I.S.! Full scans!" Tony commanded. The suit stood and marched over dutifully, quickly scanning T'Challa. T'Challa quickly scooped the child into his arms and hugged him close.

"Shhh, Unyule, I am not truly wounded. I was merely in need of you. I am sorry my love. Come now Uthando, look at me."

Tony shook his head vigorously, clinging to T'Challa's shirt like a life-line and burying his head into his chest. "No die. You promised me no die!" Tony was growling now. He glared up at T'Challa, the tears still in his eyes and he sniffed, "you're not allowed to die!"

T'Challa smiled softly and wiped the tears from his eyes. "I promise again my Unyule, that I will not perish."

Tony smacked his arm for good measure before returning to burrowing into his shirt.

T'Challa hugged the child close and patted Dum-E to reassure the bot. "I'm sorry Unyule, I did not mean to frighten you."


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Mighty Black Panther and Loki are having some trouble, even though they seem to know all their little tricks. Whelp, time to call in some backup.

T'Challa and Loki were at their wit's end and it had only been half a day. 

Clint and Tony had given up. Tony had hugged T'Challa and Clint had hugged Loki for 2 hours straight. Clint had refused to let go, even when Loki needed the toilet. Finally, when the 2-hour mark hit, they released their respective partners from their death-grip and clambered down. Nodding stiffly they both took off.

Loki had Asgard on lockdown so they couldn't get away. Loki chilled with T'Challa for about an hour before they began to wonder what was up. Slowly, they wandered the halls and a group of Asgardians scrubbing a wall. When the pair walked over, they saw that the wall was covered in childish marker drawings. As they kept going, they continued to find more and more marker scribbles all over the walls. Many of them didn't make sense to the pair.

 _"Lasciatemi cantare_  
_Con la chitarra in mano_  
_Lasciatemi cantare_  
_Sono l'italiano"_

T'Challa had read carefully and discovered that they were, indeed, Italian song lyrics.

 

_"Sono su highway to inferno"_

 

T'Challa did a double take. It seemed as though Tony's true speech was worming its way through.

Loki growled as he began finding arrows all over the palace in random places. (suction cup ones mind you, but they were still annoying)

Together they found spare metal parts and cereal (where did they find cereal?) everywhere. Books were strewn all over the top floor and markers, pens, and crayons too. They must have looked ridiculous. Two princes/kings holding random things and having arrows stuck to them as they walked through the castle, definitely not weird.

As they cleared the stuff away, the dinner bell was rung. They scrambled to finish and get there in time.

Finally, they could eat, but the kids...were nowhere to be seen.

Loki and T'Challa groaned softly. Time to call in the backup.

"Brother? What is the matter?"

"It is an honour to meet you, your majesty, where's Tony?"

The two heroes were confused with their summons. 

Loki cleared his throat. "Dr. Banner, Thor, we have need of some...assistance."

The two looked confused. "As you can see-" T'Challa pounced. The heroes ducked and watched as the panther king dove behind the curtains. However, before they could even open their mouth to question the oddness of the situation, T'Challa reappeared with a handful of wriggling child. 

Bruce was stunned. Thor was laughing.

When the child made eye-contact with the two other people in the room he gasped. "Brucie-bear! Save me!"

Before Bruce even had time to think, he was there, scooping the child out of T'Challa's arms and into his own. 

"We can Scienza now! I makin an automa! It's super cool! But need più parti. Building it for piume over there. Pratica di tiro."

Bruce nodded along, not fully understanding, but acting just the same. "That sounds great Tony."

Suddenly, Loki yelped, in the most undignified, dignified godly way possible. "BARTON!" he yelled, snapping his fingers. 

Thor jumped when he suddenly had an armful of child. The god looked at the crew-cut, blond, now miniaturized archer. "Hello, Mr. Barton."

Clint made a face. "I Cwint, you Four. Put down now so I go hewp Tony." Thor blinked owlishly down at Clint, then back at Loki. 

"This young man...called me...Four...?"

Clint made a "duh" face and poked the underside of Thor's chin. "Ya! Four! Now put down!" Thor made a move to put him down

"DON'T!" Loki yelled. "If you put him down, it will take forever to find him again." Thor then slowly brought Clint back up, tucking him under one arm like a sack of potatoes. Loki sighed. "We are in need of your assistance. You see, we have not had much rest and the palace is a mess. We would like you to watch them whilst we tidy things up," T'Challa explained. Loki gave Thor a Bruce opened his mouth to protest, but Thor beat him to it. "Of course King of Panthers, brother. We will watch your little mortals."

T'Challa and Loki disappeared before Bruce could protest, yelling thanks over their shoulders.

Bruce turned a panic look at Thor. "I can't watch a child! Especially when the child is  _Tony!!!_ _"_

"Why not Banner? He is a mere child, it cannot be such a great challenge."

"But I don't even know the first thing about watching a child!"

"Use one of your Ph.D.'s."

Bruce looked offended. "NONE OF THEM ARE FOR BABYSITTING!"

 

**-2 hours later-**

 

"Orso! Orso! Guarda a this!" Bruce looked down at Tony. He was covered in smudges of grease and his hair was stuck up at odd angles. In his hand was a small rectangular device. 

"I fixed mio trasportatore intergalattico! It has an imponente hologram sistema!"

Bruce gave him a smile and when Tony turned away Bruce whipped out his translator and tried to recall every weird word Tony had said. Bruce then scribbled it all down into his notebook, he groaned, understanding a child was a science in on itself, but understanding Italianified English whilst a genius prodigal child rapidly spouted it out like an actual language, that, that was a whole new level of impossibility.

Tony was a great kid. He loved to make people smile and invented the greatest things. Bruce wondered if this was how Tony  _actually was_ when he was a kid. 

Sensing he was being talked (or thought) about, Tony looked over and waved, the biggest smile on his face. Bruce smiled back and gave his own little wave. It seemed almost peaceful, until...

"What the?!"

Bruce leaped to his feet. Looking carefully at Tony, he saw that the child had, indeed, perfected his trasportatore intergalattico, but what Bruce didn't fully get was that he had brought  _Peter Parker_ to  _Asgard_ like it was  _NOTHING!!!!_

Bruce rubbed his eyes frantically. Yup. Spiderman was here. On Asgard. WITHOUT PERMISSION. Oh, Bruce was going to die.

Peter for his part looked barely phased at Tony's small form (probably cuz he hasn't seen it yet) and was busy marveling at the walls of Asgard.

"Underoos!" 

Peter stumbled back in surprise. He was staring into the, very large, brown eyes of the one and only, Tony Stark. 

"Mr. Stark?"

Tony nodded eagerly.

Peter looked up. "Hi, Doctor Banner, Mr. Banner, Hulk, sir! Is this Asgard? It is so cool! But I wasn't here. I was in Queens. At Ned's place. Oh, shit Ned. He was in the room when this happened. What am I going to DO?!"

Peter felt a hand smack his leg. Looking down he saw the exasperated look of a 3-year-old. 

"You be okay Ragno! I brought tu here!"

Peter looked confused. "Mr. Stark, what's a Ragno?" but Tony wasn't paying attention anymore. He had wandered off in search of a screwdriver.

Peter looked hopefully at Peter. "What's a Ragno Mr.Banner, should I call you doctor? You know what, nevermind, I'll figure it out, so ya, what's a Ragno?"

Bruce just handed the translator over.

"Oh! He called me a spider! Wicked, didn't know Mr. Stark was Italian."

Suddenly his phone rang. Odd, didn't think phones worked on Asgard. "It worked!" Tony yelled before disappearing again. 

"Could you watch him? I gotta take this."

Peter nodded, "Sure Mr. Banner, sir, I got it," and he was off, hopping over pieces and ducking into Tony's little hideout.

Bruce opened his phone.

"Hello?"

"BANNER! I NEED YOUR HELP!"

Bruce pulled his phone away from his ear quickly and turned on the speaker.

"What's the matter, Thor?"

"I may or may not have, seemed to have misplaced the Arrow child."

"YOU LOST CLINT?!"

Now it was Thor's turn to pull the phone away.

"Yes, now I need you to come and help me find him before my brother returns. If he sees his beloved Midgardian missing, he will bewitch me. I do not wish to be female again, or old, or weak. Please, save me."

Bruce facepalmed. "Alright, I'll meet you in Clint's room."

"Thank you!"

Bruce sighed. He jogged over to the pair and crouched down. Peter was making silly faces and had managed to get Tony to put his inventions down. He tapped the teen on the shoulder.

"I need you to keep an eye on him."

"Sure! This is fun anyway."

Bruce looked sternly at Tony, "Don't give him any trouble. Okay?"

Tony nodded seriously and Bruce stood up and left the room.

Dammit Thor, it's been 2 hours, how do you loose a 3-year-old in 2 hours?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Luv me them comments and kudos. Thanks for continuing to read guys! 
> 
> Song lyrics:
> 
> Let me sing  
> With the guitar in hand  
> Let me sing  
> I am the Italian
> 
> automa-robot  
> sono su- I'm on the  
> inferno-hell
> 
> scienza - science  
> più parti - more parts  
> piume - feathers  
> pratica di tiro- target/shooting practice
> 
> Orso - bear  
> Guarda a - look at  
> mio trasportatore intergalattico - my intergalactic transporter  
> imponente - awesome  
> sistema - system  
> Ragno - spider


	4. Chapter 4

Peter thought this was  _awesome!_ He was on Asgard and if that wasn't weird enough, Mr. Stark had been turned into a kid. Probably 3. Still prodigal genius and Peter had the pleasure of deciphering Tony language. Peter was good with kids, great in fact, but he was still trying to get over the fact that the child he was supposed to watch was Ironman. Being Ironman's "intern" was cool enough, but dealing with him now just made Peter even prouder.

As he was thinking this, he was making silly faces and tickling the 3-year-old. Then, a daring thought came to mind. 

"What have you been doing here Mr. Stark?"

Tony blinked up at Peter. Then he grinned.

"Want to prank war?" he asked innocently. Even going as far as to use his puppy dog eyes.

Peter looked at the child skeptically. "Against who Mr. Stark?"

"Non te lo dirò if you don't stop chiamandomi Mr. Stark at this moment!"

Peter had to mentally recall all the Spanish classes he took to try and puzzle out what he was saying. "Non te lo dirò sounds like it should be no te diré which means something like 'I won't tell you' and I don't know what chiamandomi is, but the way you said it, it should be llamándome which means 'calling me'. So if I don't stop calling you Mr. Stark at this moment, you won't tell me?"

Tony nodded to his rambling.

"Alright, Mr.-I mean Tony."

"Okay," Tony grinned devilishly, "here's the plan!"

"Before you start!" Peter scrambled to stop the child. "Could I whip up an ear-piece translator or something? It's hard to use Spanish to decode your Italian." Tony scoffed. "Just put on il tuo vestito. I built one in of course. Sono un genio!"

Peter did his ramble translation again (just put on 'your suit'. I built one in or course. 'I am a genius') and pulled his suit out of his bag.

After a solid 20 minutes, Tony had finished explaining his plan, Peter had added things to the plan, and they were ready to begin their attack.

Before they actually started, they made a pit-stop in Tony and T'Challa's room to change clothes. Peter laughed when he found an entire drawer dedicated to children's clothes. He giggled as he selected a t-shirt that looked like the Ironman chest armor and loose, tan cargo shorts. Grabbing socks, converse and a small black beanie, he headed over to Tony and quickly wiped as much muck off as possible and then redressed him.

Then they both suited up. Oh, this was going to be fun.

 

**[Clint's room 20 minutes prior]**

 

Bruce burst into the room and threw the door shut. He found Thor in the center of the room. Everything was a mess and Clint was obviously nowhere to be seen. "Doctor! You've got to help me. The child disappeared merely 10 minutes ago. I swear I put him down for one second to grab food and the next he was gone!"

"Okay, well, where did you last see him?" Bruce asked, looking around.

"There, by the wall." Bruce looked confused.

Thor sighed, "there was a coffee table there, but it kind of...moved? I had to be sure he hadn't fallen under."

"Okay," Bruce nodded, "did you check if Loki sealed off all the vents?" he asked as he wandered over to the wall. Bruce began moving things out of the way whilst arranging them back where they used to be. Finally clear, Bruce paled. Hanging loosely, down on the floor was a half-opened vent and a plastic arrow. "Thor!" Bruce called, "We have a problem." Thor looked at what Bruce was pointing at and he too paled. "Oh, dear."

Lucky for them, the vents were built bigger than Earth's vents, but it was still a tight fit for Thor. Tall enough for a child to walk without a problem, which made Clint's escape much faster. "Are you sure you're not coming Banner? Surely, we could find him faster this way? It is like a maze in here."

"Nah, I'm good. I'll run around the palace, see where the vents could've gone." Bruce hated tight spaces, running is better.

"Alright then. Good luck Dr. Banner."

"You too Thor."

And with that, the two were off. 

 _Please don't get into trouble_ the both of them thought.

 

**[Back to the present]**

 

Tony was harnassed to Peter's front and Peter was taking full advantage of the palace's grand halls to swing easily from beam to beam. Tony's harness was specially fitted to have a butt load of pockets for all their supplies and Peter had the hammers, screwdrivers, spray cans, paper, and markers in his own bag. They were approaching their first target when they heard a noise.

Peter swung close to the sound and the both of them investigated. Dangling upside down in typical Spiderman fashion they peered into the vent and came face to face with a very happy Clint. 

"Hi, Clint!" Tony whisper shouted.

Peter smiled at the small archer. Good thing Peter had taken it upon himself to talk to the other Avengers.

 

***flashback***

When he wasn't helping Mr. Stark, he was usually wandering around the compound, learning the layout and finding the others. He had met the archer the first time off the battlefield in the kitchen. Clint and Natasha were having a prank war at the time and Peter caught him dangling from the ceiling vent as he made himself a sandwich upside down. 

Clint had been looking for the peanut butter and Peter had helped him out by helping him to finish making the sandwich and handing it to the archer. Said archer then recruited him as his secret partner in crime and they became fast friends after that.

***end of flashback***

 

Clint gawked at Peter. "Hi, Pe'er! How you get hewe? Hi, 'Ony!" 

Peter opened his mouth to answer, but Tony beat him to it. "Long story Katniss, tell ya later. We gonna prank war some people, you wanna help?" Clint nodded eagerly. The trio shared a grin. "Okay, here's the new plan."

After Clint was all caught up, Tony handed him his supplies and told him the meeting place. "We all get the new plan?" Tony asked. Clint and Peter nodded. 

"Alright, you have your orders, Agente. Go!"

Clint straightened and saluted before dashing off. 

"Onwards Ragno! Less get'em!"


End file.
